Appendix B
Detailed Uses for Unwanted School Lunches

This appendix contains uses for School Lunches which were too big to fit within the footnotes.

B.1 Crayon Replacements

It is rumored that Binney and Smith, the manufacturer of Crayola crayons, has a petroleum-free crayon replacement on hand in case the price of petroleum gets too high. A perusal of the Crayola web site1 suggests crayons are made from nothing more than paraffin wax, the same kind candles are made from. Old, congealing fat from discarded school lunches can harden as it “polymerizes” into something resembling wax,2 which can be used to make all sorts of pictures.3

B.2 Ondol Heating Systems

In Korea, homes are heated by heating the cement floor. This is done directly, which is dangerous because the cement can crack, cauding carbon monoxide to seep through, or indirectly using steam. Special charcoal cylinders with perforations are purchased and put in the heater. The charcoal is lit, heating the floor where the inhabitants spend most of the time. This system only heats the floor, which is more efficient than Western systems, and was even selected by architect Frank Lloyd Wright for heating some homes. [46, pp. 99–101]

B.3 Pig Food

Rep. Goodling suggested that one of the reasons that larger than consumable servings of food were served was that much of the food as waste would go to nearby pig farms [1]. Perhaps, that’s one of the reasons that the portions have been cut somewhat for the much younger children receiving school lunches [43].

B.4 Power Supply Replacement

Many of the water-soluble components of a school lunch should be able to act as an electrolyte when the right electrodes are inserted into it. This way, there should be enough power to run a flashlight or radio during a blackout, while camping, etc.