Still More Uses For Dead Volkers And Other Things (As Well As Other Stuff)

Curtis R. Anderson

January 14, 2001
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List of Figures
  School Lunches
  Additions To the Document
1 Uses for Old, Dead Volkers from 1994
2 The Best of the Past
 2.1 The 1988 List
 2.2 The 1989 List
3 Uses for Unwanted School Lunches
4 Volkers on the Internet
 4.1 Yes, Virginia, There Is A Mr. Volker and a Mr. Craig
 4.2 On the Difficulties Of Using Volkers
 4.3 Other Volker-Craig Related Web Sites Seen
 4.4 What I Conclude
5 Help! Even Newer Uses for Dead Volkers!
 5.1 Yahoo! More Uses Found!
 5.2 Other Random Ruminations
A Detailed Explanations for Dead Volkers
 A.1 The Acceleration of Gravity
 A.2 Anti-Stealth Devices
 A.3 Babylon 5
 A.4 George Bailey’s Information Terminal
 A.5 Christmas Tree Stands
 A.6 Curing Tanks
 A.7 Foodarackacycle
 A.8 Generic Terminals
 A.9 Grunge Rock Groups
 A.10 High-Tech Terminals for Fundamentalists
 A.11 The M31 Scale Artillery Trainer
 A.12 Marijuana Bong
 A.13 Micro-Mutts
 A.14 NCO Justice
 A.15 Picture Cube
 A.16 Picture Frame
 A.17 Pledge Items
 A.18 Retarded Bombs
 A.19 RFD Mailbox Bases
 A.20 SAC Brownies
 A.21 SAC Pizza
 A.22 Stringer Blocks For Wood
 A.23 Swell Boxes
 A.24 TelePrompTer Display
 A.25 Thrust Reversers
 A.26 Turbofan blow-in doors
 A.27 The University Bomber
 A.28 VASI
 A.29 Weapons Discharge Point
 A.30 Wonder Terminals For the Blind
 A.31 Other Uses for Dead Volkers
B Detailed Uses for Unwanted School Lunches
 B.1 Crayon Replacements
 B.2 Ondol Heating Systems
 B.3 Pig Food
 B.4 Power Supply Replacement
C Help! New Detailed Explanations for Dead Volkers
 C.1 Antenna Base
 C.2 Materials Hopper
D Is Rich Misguided?
 D.1 Preserving the Volker-Craig
 D.2 Rivina Normal Day
 D.3 Getting Back To Normal
 D.4 The Queen of Sheba
 D.5 “You Should See Him In Stories!”
 D.6 Rivina’s Terminal of Choice
 D.7 Rich Gets Stuffed With C0ntessa
E Perl Scripts Used